My Angels

I've been alone for so long,
Lost and searching.
It's so hard when I'm alone;
But I found angels.

I've met them before;
At that time I never thought I'd need them.
I had my father,
He was my angel.

Then God decided;
I didn't need him anymore.
God took him,
I was left alone and lost.

As i was searching,
I met them again.
They decided,
I was not to be alone again.

These angels;
Gave me hope and let me cry.
I wasn't allowed to be ashamed;
For tears i shed.

They stand by me,
Despite what I throw at them.
Stubborn can they be!
But they're my angels.

Though God took my papa,
He replaced him with these angels.
I keep them close to my heart,
Cause I love them.

They've slowly;
Heal me,
Filled the void,
And taken my pain a bit by bit.

There's a saying:
"Every cloud has a silver lining"
Now i know;
They're my silver lining.

Thank you;
For allowing me to cry again.
You've made a difference;
My angels.

A FATHER’S LOVE

Father’s seldom say “I love you”
Though the feeling’s always there
But somehow those three little words are hard to say
Are the hardest ones to say.

And a father says “I love you”
In ways that words cannot match-
With tender bedtime stories-
Or a friendly game of catch!

You can see the words “I love you”
In a father’s boyish eyes;
When he runs home, all excited
With a poorly wrapped surprise.

A father says “I love you”
With his strong helping hands
With a smile when you’re in trouble
With the way he understands.
He says “I love you”,
With awkward tenderness.
(It’s hard to get a four year old into a dress)

He speaks his loves unselfishly
By giving all he can
To make some secret dreams come true
Or following through a plan.

A father’s seldom spoken love
Sounds clearly through the years-
Sometimes in peals of laughter,
Sometimes through happy tears.

Perhaps they have to speak their love
In a fashion of their own
Because the love that fathers feel
Is too big for words alone!

That Smile

I saw you one Saturday,
We didn’t know each other then;
I was day dreaming,
And then you gave me a smile.

It wasn’t until later,
I realized I’d always look forward to the weekends;
Wanting to see you smile,
So I could smile.

I’d always laugh when you smiled,
It’s because your smile was so goofy;
No matter how bad my week was,
Your smile made it all go away for me.

It was devastating when you’d not turn up on the weekends,
I couldn’t see that smile,
Only then I realize;
It wasn’t only that smile I’d come to like,
It was you.

That smile,
It all started from that one moment;
Who’d predict a smile?
Would do that to me.

So now,
I’d still look forward to the weekends;
And even though we may never be,
That smile of yours keeps me hoping.

When I Woke Up Today

When I woke up today,
I awoke feeling indifferent;
I wished my mom goodbye as she left for work.
Then I went to brush my teeth,
After doing so I looked up;
The water was flowing from the tap,
I saw myself in the mirror;
I then wondered would today be any better.

Somehow deep inside me knew;
Today wouldn’t be different.
I look around;
My house is empty,
Then I remember a very vivid memory-
My father’s in the kitchen,
I smile at that memory.

I look towards the kitchen,
I feel like I see him there with his pots and pans;
Busy preparing today’s meal.
I laugh remembering his antics in the kitchen.

I suddenly feel alive,
Then I hear him;
“Brush your teeth and change we’re going for breakfast!”’
I realize my feet are wet;
The water was left running and its overflowing.
My heart starts hurting,
I think I hear it crack even more.
I awaken from my day dream,
I realize again that I’m alone.

Looking at my father’s photo,
I smile but tears start to flow;
I miss him and his laughter,
It used to be something normal to hear him laugh but now it all seems so quiet.
Life seems an empty vessel now,
Deep down I believe it’ll be alright;
I’m sure his around and keeping an eye on us.


Mommy and little sis return home,
We have dinner and laugh as we eat;
But as its time to sleep,
I feel alone again.
Now here I sit,
Writing about today’s events,

It’s become a routine;
It’s so mechanical to me,
So when I wake up tomorrow;
I’ll be hopeful things will be different,
Different than when I woke up today.